Sixth

It's official, I have fans(well maybe not fans but people that just want to see how bad I write, either way I am not typing for myself.) This is the first post in such a long time, I guess being in school and having more important people in my life contributes, and for that I can't apologize. This past week was crazy. I told someone I care about very deeply things I have done in my past(this is never a good thing). The reason I told her everything was because it was something that she needed to know. I have never told anyone something and immediately they started to cry. It was like US Army lined up in front of me and in unison all kicked me in the place no guy wants to be kicked. For the next 30 minutes I could say nothing, I was ashamed. It took until sharing this for me to feel bad about what I have done. It was miserable. I tried to explain to her that if I could go back in time and change it, I would just for her. But I can't and that's what was getting to me.
Oddly though I preached a sermon on God's love for us, and how we don't need to prove to him that we love him all he wants is for us to BELIEVE he already loves us. So I'm preaching this sermon and realize that the same sort of thing applies to my conversation. I know Kristin cares for me, deeply, I know this because she expresses it to me. But just like I know God still loves me with this amazing love that can't be described, I still fail him. But that doesn't mean His love stops, and when I sin I need to prove that I still love him. I screwed up in my past, Kristin knows this now, but that doesn't mean she stops caring for me, and it doesn't mean I need to prove how sorry how I am, she knows.
We are sinful beings. This doesn't mean the people and the God that loves us stops caring for us. It's upsetting, but not an end to a relationship. This week was crazy ups and downs but in the end I have found myself back in the middle.
Love Loudly..Live Graciously.. Be Conversational

Fifth

This is the one thing that will bring joy to even the terrible days.

Fourth

Many times I wonder what it is exactly I am doing with my life. I started my college career planning on majoring in youth ministry, which basically means I wanted to hang out with kids for the rest of my life. Now I changed my mind to adult ministry, which now means I want to hang out with people my age and older. I know I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a minister, and you better believe I am looking foreword to working with people as well as teaching. But these questions continue to arise, what will I be doing?

It is ironic however, in my questioning I begin to become more and more excited. In the absence of my knowledge my imagination begins to take over. And the imagination is something that has been over looked in today's society. When I think back to when I was a kid I can remember dreaming and doing what kids do(things like building a box fort. A fort made of simple large boxes, and playing for hours.) Our imagination, as kids, overwhelmed our lives. But in today's society we lose so much mystery because we have to know everything, if we fail then we go to school for a much longer time to try and find the answers.

In the mystery of my future I find great joy, because it simply reminds me I am not in control and that in the mystery I will find my answers.